Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Don't forget to flush.

My youngest son today was in the middle of "using the bathroom," and if you knew my youngest you would know there are a million and one things that can go wrong in the few seconds he is in the bathroom. He is potty trained, and has been for awhile, but he still needs some extra reminders on what steps are supposed to be taken when... "using the bathroom." So as I intently listened for toilet paper being unrolled, {...and unrolled...and unrolled} or cabinets and drawers being opened, I also reminded him of those few things he tends to forget. "Don't forget to flush, and wipe." I then heard him singing a little song over and over again. "Don't forget to flush. Don't forget to wipe." This continued for a good five minutes, before he came running out... forgetting to flush... and wipe.

And I thought of something.

Our lives, are never ending learning experiences. We never really stop learning. It may change from learning what you should do in the bathroom, but God withholds things and presents them in our everyday life. From the good to the bad, we are all experiencing something. Some kind of lesson. We can try to prepare ourselves for what we know we should do, maybe hum a little song, but even still we can just forget what to do. After all, we are just lost sheep right?

That goes right along with the so called "grieving process." I don't know what the grieving process is exactly. I've read many different things, but everything has a different answer. People have told me that everyone goes through grief differently. I've also been told that my "regrets" were part of my grieving process. But since I have learned to let go of those, does that mean that my grief is over?

There is an empty spot in my heart, yes.
{But I don't hurt. I don't cry.}

Before the funeral I was told I was in the numb stage, and it would hit me in a few weeks. A few weeks passed, and nothing. I felt awful that everyone cried harder for Savannah than I did. I questioned myself. "Am I not a good mother because I am not crying? Because I am not emotionally devistated like these people? What is wrong with me?"  But I learned something. I wasn't crying, because Savannah was nestled in her mommy and daddy's heart... not everyone else's. Not in the same way. And God was here. God is here. I will never be able to express enough how thankful I am for Him and everything he has done for me. 

What can you learn today?

1 comment:

Tina said...

Hi Megan,

I want to thank you for this post and wonderful message. Of course you are a wonderful Mommy and God has made you that way! Look at your wonderful and beautiful 4 Children! I can tell by the look on everyone of your childrens faces that they know and feel that you are a wonderful Mommy. You have done good my Sis in Christ. Also look at the proud look on your husband's face!

Thank you for the laugh you have given me today with your story about your youngest!

I have learned today that no matter how rough a time I'm going through You still can find some Joy and something to chuckle at!

In Christ's Love & prayers