Monday, October 11, 2010

Praise you in this storm.

Yesterday marked an important day for us...

...Yesterday, The Fraser's made our way back to church since,

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, and it was a lot hotter than it should be for an October day. But the warm rays of sunshine warming our cheeks were a pleasent reminder that God was reaching down through the sun He created to comfort our hearts. We got the kids ready and headed out to meet my brother, sister-in-law, and thier two boys there.

I had been looking forward to church all week. We hadn't not been going to church because we are angry or resentful towards the Lord. Because we aren't. At all. I've said before, I look at Him taking Savannah home is a constant reminder that he really does love us.

Every second of every day.

He loves us so much that he gave me the gift of being her mother. He loves us so much to take her home where she is safe and healthy. I praise him!

We did the typical parent thing, dropping little ones off each in their own Sunday school classes. Everything felt comfortable. Everything felt normal. We took our seats and worship began. I loved it. I sang along to the familiar songs dear to my heart. {Most of which you could actually listen to on my blog playlist! It was wonderful. It was as though, through the worship team at church God hand picked the songs just for me. The songs He knows I listen to frequently bringing peace to my heart.}

But then, as I praised him my mind began traveling.

The last time I had been to Church, Savannah was with me. The last time I sang praises to my maker, her maker, it was as though she danced along inside me. Savannah loved worship. And with my head held high I would stand proud, hand on my belly, singing. Singing to Him. Singing to her. And she danced.

I daydreamed about bringing Savannah to church. Bringing Savannah to know the Lord. Holding her in my arms instead of my belly while we worshipped. 

But I never got to bring my angel to church.

As I continued singing, all the while thinking these thoughts, I realized so much more than my fragile "human" thoughts. I felt her again. I felt her presence stronger than I have felt her since she was in my arms her last night. Savannah was at church. Only I didn't bring her. Jesus had. Jesus held her hand as he walked her into church and sat her down beside her mommy. And as I stood standing, and praising... I knew Savannah danced... 

And I broke down and cried.

I, {with the help of my Jesus} had finally brought my babygirl to church. 

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