Who you already will be.

There have been times that it has been hard. There have been times it has been easy. This time, was an "easy" time. In finding out just four short days ago, our baby, boy or girl, already has a name picked out. With, of course, a story behind the final choices. And, of course, I am going to share. So let me take you back to the beginning....

March 16th, 2010 my husband turned on the series premeire of a new television show he had been intrigued by for a few months. I had never heard of it before, but at that point in time, I had to go as far as upgrading our Dish Network package just so we would get the FX channel. Yes, secrets out, I would do anything for my husband. Since this apparently was a big ordeal in the Fraser household, I sat down, with my AM/PM cherry Slurpie {the nightly Savannah craving} to see what the big fuss was. For being a gun slinging show, about a US Marshall trying to stop crime in his hometown of Harlan, Kentucky, I loved it. So every Tuesday, yes usually with Slurpie in tow, we sat down together after the kids were in bed to watch "Justified."

Towards the end of Season One, I mentioned to Koady that I liked the name of the main character. "Deputy US Marshall Raylan Givens." Koady agreed. But that was that. We finished the first season towards the end of June, after we had moved into our new house.

During this period of time, I was a large pregnant momma on a mission. Sir Brody Peyton, was still dependent on his bottle to go to sleep at night. {I know, I know... wrist slapped.} So in making it my goal to wean him into going to sleep on his own without his bottle before Savannah arrived, I would sit in her espresso and beige glider rocker with Brody draped across my giant belly and what little lap I had left and we would rock. While I rocked I would sing. We usually went through the same playlist every night before he would finally go right to sleep.

-"I will carry you."
YES, I did sing this every night! I mentioned once before that I found this song, and the story behind it while I was pregnant with Savannah. I thought it was beautiful. So touching. Truly professes a mother's love for their child. I thought it made a great lullaby. Little did I know.

-"The hand song."
A song about a mother and her son. Another song that professes a beautiful love. My sister-in-law sings it to my nephews, Ethan and Kieran and through them it was discovered. Very touching.

-"Baby Mine."
Dumbo. Enough said.

And last but not least,

-"You are my sunshine." 
In Savannah's room sat a little bunny. This bunny was given to me by my own mother, when I actually was in high school. When you squeezed this bunny, it sang, "You are my sunshine." On the bunnies foot, her name was stitched. "Rae. " In case you have never heard another verse of this song, let me share...

"The other night dear,

when I lay sleeping,

I dreamt I held you in my arms.

But when I woke dear,

I was but dreaming,

so I laid my head down and cried. "

My mom always sang this second verse to me as a child, so I always assumed it was a piece of the song. So obviously, I have always sang it the same way to each of my own children...

{Little did I know, it is actually a remake that Doris Day did, 

and there is more to it than just that.

Sorry mom, secrets out.}

When I got the positive pregnancy test back in February, we had talked about baby names.  Season two of Justified started the same week we thought we were expecting. As we lay in bed, minus the Slurpie, I said, you know Raylan would be a pretty girls name. Right then, my husband googled it, and the girls version was spelled::

Raelynn.

"That is it!" I sqeeled with delight. And her name was chosen. 

Raelynn Hope.

Hope. Because that is what we have for this baby. We were going to have Faith as her middle name, but being our last name starts with "F" it didn't flow as beautifully as Hope does.

And because we liked Raelynn for a girl, we decided to stick with traditional "Raylan" for a boy.

Raylan Davis.

Davis. The reason is obvious. UC Davis Medical Center. Where Savannah spent her life, and was placed into the arms of Jesus. Where we left a piece of our hearts. Right there in room six. In the hands of the doctors and nurses that loved her almost as much as we did...

So there it is. Baby number five. With his or her name for life. And now I know from experience, a name is very important. It is something that someday, anytime someday, will announce them for eternity on a headstone declaring to the world, they were here. They were important. They were loved. A name matters so much.