Thursday, December 16, 2010

A birthday is upon us.

Since Savannah passed, Brody Peyton will be the first birthday I celebrate since August. Now I am not saying I haven't "celebrated" for anyone, there just hasn't been anyone to celebrate close to us.

Till now. December 19th, my not so little guy will turn three years old. 

As a mother, on your children's birthdays you cannot help but think back to their births. Atleast I know I can't. Thinking back to Brody's birth this year, I can't help but think of what a different situation it was from the birth I just recently witnessed.

Five and a half hours, including pushing. Brody was "posterior," or as some call it "sunny side up." I delivered him face up, and it was the first baby I have ever had a hard time pushing out. He came into the world screaming. {Pause.}

Brody Peyton Fraser
December 19th, 2007
6lbs. 5oz.

Alive. Breathing. Screaming.

Another baby born into our arms. Our ignorant parent arms. Ignorant to the fact that in the split second a piece of heaven entered our world, our lives could have changed. In a "not new baby" kind of way. Ignorant to the fact that even though we had an entire nine months of the best possible pre-natal care, took vitamins daily, and had the "everything looks perfect" stamp from an ultrasound technician, our new baby boy whom our lives were wrapped around in that very second could suddenly, very well have been...
not okay. 

As Brody's birthday approaches. I DO find myself thinking back to his day. The very special day when he was welcomed into our arms and hearts forever. The very minute, the very life altering second that he filled his lungs with ever precious, ever delicate life. Don't take this the wrong way because I am not in any way wishing I could substitute one for the other, but what makes Brody so special that he got to stay? Or Sarah... or Michael for that matter...

When actually I should be asking...

What makes Savannah so special,
that she got to go?

Brody I am so thankful
for your healthy, 
life altering,

...which was another blessing,
because you were born in a hospital
with NO NICU.
I believe EVERY hospital should have one.
No baby is guaranteed to be "okay."


John and Allie Fields said...

Happy early Birthday little man!!!! Three seems so big doesn't it? No longer a baby =(

Tiffany said...

happy birthday to your little man. and talk about good posts. your posts always leave me in tears or with chills. and this one did both. you have such a way with words. yes, we are now all aware of the fact that it only takes 1 breath to forever change our lives. :'(

Serenity's Mommy ♥ said...

Happy birthday to Brody!!

I ALWAYS say that ever hospital should have a NICU.. I was oblivious to the fact they didn't until Serenity was born in one. Next baby will DEFINITELY be born in one with a NICU.

Nadine said...

I agree, every hospital should have one! Happy Birthday little guy!!! :)

Danielle said...

Happy Birthday to our Two legged Natural Disaster. Where would this life be without you? You forever leave us in your wake of laughter, messes and yells of things not going your way.