Thursday, December 23, 2010

Takes a Village

Have you ever heard the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?"

I couldn't agree more. Mothers and fathers yes, but many influential relationships elsewhere as well... Grandparents, aunts, uncles, even close family friends. A village.

Maybe it is the long Christmas filled day that has run my battery dry, but this evening I am feeling and acknowledging that my battery has been pushed to continue running for awhile now. Tonight, I am slightly wondering,  

"Hey, where's my village?"

From the minute Savannah was born, I have pushed my body to the max. Often after her delivery I told myself, "the resting factor only contributes to those with a baby." For me to nap? I convinced myself would be lazy, not necessary. By the time we arrived home the night of her passing {yes, we drove home that night} it was around 2am. Sarah woke for school the very next morning. Funeral arrangements and shopping for outfits consumed the next eight days. Life has just continued full steam ahead since then.

My mom took the kids once to her house the weekend before Savannah's funeral. There have been a few opportunities to get out of the house for a couple of hours. But now I am needing some time. Some space. Some quiet. Some still. 

"Where's my village?"

There are probably many tired families out there without a village. I may have only experienced one side of the spectrum, but from the side I stand on, I think it would be easier when a child dies to not have others constantly depending on you. To only have yourself and your beloved husband to think about.
"Where's my village?"

I love each one of my children dearly. Deeply. Right now I believe they are not receiving my full potential as their mother. I really am doing the best I can, and giving my all, but after adding the busy-ness of this Christmas season, I am here to announce.

My name is Megan.
I have three active & busy children.
I buried my fourth September 8th, 2010.
My husband is terrific & works very hard to provide,
but he is gone a lot.
I am officially exhausted.

"Where's my village?"

4 comments:

Nadine said...

Wish I could be a part of your village :(...I admire your strength! Sending you a prayer for rest sweetie! You have been through so much in so little time and it's a miracle you're still standing after the emotional stress you've endured, let alone the physical. Much love!

John and Allie Fields said...

I had a meltdown last week wondering where my village was :( I guess that phrase no longer applies to modern day society. Everyone is always so tired and self consumed that it's too easy to forget about being right with those in our "village" who are suffering. I know I'm guilty of it too. By the way, I hate that there are so many miles between us. =(

Jackie said...

We truly believe in the saying "It takes a village..." Sam and I have taken that responsibility on for our two daughters. We have the children more than they do and we don't mind. Both of us feel that is what God has called us to do. I totally understand what you are saying and wish too that we could be part of your village.

deziann said...

I would be happy to be part of your village, I know this is late and it's been a week since this post but I'm happy to help if you need me. I'm not psychic though, so you have to let me know. Love you <3