Friday, February 18, 2011

Life doesn't wait for you.

I am not trying to sound harsh in this post, so please,
don't mistake what I am about to say.
It may be controversial to some.

I am a lover of the Duggar family! I love their strong faith, their devoted marriage, and their patient, loving parenting. To ALL 19 kids... and counting. 

When Savannah was first born, and whisked away to the NICU, my mom rubbed my arm as I was crying and said, "if Josie Duggar can make it, than Savannah can make it." It meant a lot to me, being I followed along side of Jim Bob and Michelle as they prayed for their tiny premature baby girl. I cried the evening Michelle had an emergency C-section. I remember the exact words Jim Bob said to the camera teary eyed in his hospital scrubs.

"This situation is fixing to change our lives...
But we praise God when all the good things are happening.
And we are going to praise God, even through this difficult situation."
 -Jim Bob Duggar

It broke my heart to hear all of the negative critisizim they faced when they were fighting for baby Josie's life. Even more so now. I think it is everyone's God given right, to have a baby. When they want, and how ever many they might want. And I mean God given in the sense, a gift from God. I think the only people who shouldn't have babies are the ones who are not planning on investing time, energy, and love into that child. And if that is the case, there are many wonderful families out there hoping and praying to adopt. 

I walked through Safeway one evening with my mother-in-law. I told her I was embarrassed that I wasn't "pregnant" anymore. Perplexed, she asked "why?" I told her, "maybe embarrassed isn't the word, I just feel this gives people even more of a reason, after what happened with Savannah to think, they really shouldn't have another." She said, as she continued looking for what we were there to get, "you know what? Who cares what other people think."

As any mother it is hard to hear outsiders opinions, {and they are always offered whether we want them or not} about having children. People are even more opinionated about having babies "after a loss." I think there is a stigma that comes with loosing a child. Sadly, you loose friends over it... why wouldn't some people think "infant death" was contagious?

But... It's NOT. And having a baby after loosing a child, we don't want you to scare us about chances and statistics. Because we are aware. We are afraid. We don't want to hear how concerned you might be, for whatever reason. Because right now, we are more concerned than you will ever be. We don't want to hear, you think it is best if we wait. Because right now, in whatever moment we are in... Our heart tells us it is right. Whether we have one baby, or nineteen... we are all following the plans that are right for our lives. Just smile. It's okay to be happy for the moment we are in right now.

Because life won't wait for you.


Deanna said...

Love this, "life won't wait for you" because it is true!!!

We had lots of "opinions" when we were pregnant with Asher after losing River and boy, I did not care to hear them! They were all so negative, and I had enough negative thoughts in my head (due to worry and paranoia) that I didn't need to hear anyone else's!

Thank you for sharing, thinking of you!

Jennifer said...

You get a big ole AMEN from me sister! I get so sick of hearing people tell me that I have enough children, or gently suggest we should "get fixed" so we won't have anymore. God does not make mistakes. Thanks for being so open!

Jessica said...

Oh Megan, this post makes me just want to sit and cry for a bit. I'm so sorry that the road is hard and that life has changed so tragically. I wish you all the best and much strength in the life ahead, whatever path you chose. Many, many hugs to you.

Holly said...

I really like the Duggars too and don't see anything wrong with them having so many kids. They've done a great job raising them and providing for them.

It isn't anyone's right to tell anyone if and if they shouldn't have children.

The Anglin Family said...

I live close to the duggars and even delivered my daughter in the same hospital Josie was born in. I wish people wouldn't judge them. They are wonderful people.
I feel like the people around me think that there is something wrong with me since I've lost two pregnancies. It must be contagious bc my pregnant friends avoid me like the plague. I want so very badly to have a 4th baby, but feel like I will be judged since I lost my daughter. I hate when people tell me I have enough children. What about my sweet girl in heaven?

John and Allie Fields said...

I love the Duggars too =)

It makes me SO mad when people voice their opinions on someone's choice to have more kids when the past has not been "normal". Where is their faith?

Melissa said...

Ohh the "opinions" much as we try to ignore them, they still find away to creep in and cause heartache. Thanks for sharing your feelings on this. It can be a hard thing to confront.