Friday, January 14, 2011

Thank you.

I wanted to take a quick moment today, to say a quick thank you for the comments I just read from my wonderful friends/followers.

What I asked was a very hard and blunt question. As a parent, {especially those who have made that decision} you love your child more than your own life itself to want to make the decision to say "when" God's time for them was here.

After reading those of you who said "everyone is given a time from God," it brought tears to my eyes. And not in a bad way. Sometimes I just need that little reminder and guided encouragment. My husband told me today after reading my last post that he wondered the same question shortly after Savannah was gone. "Was it the right decison."

And yes, it was.  

The doctor told us very frankly, "she has no chance." ECMO may have been able to sustaine her life from now until eternity, but that is just it. Savannah, didn't have a chance. And that my friends... was God's plan. In saying goodbye to a piece of our heart that night, we may have saved other babies in the process. Other babies with every chance in the world.

The evening when we first recieved the news, through teary eyes, I asked, "can't I just give her one of my lungs?" Clearly the answer was obvious. No I truly didn't believe an adult sized lung would be a perfect match for an eight day old newborn, but it was sheer desperation. But the fact of the matter is, I would have. I would have given both my lungs if I could have. I would have given her every organ, and laid down my own life for that precious being. We had and have so much love for such a tiny little girl, turning those machines off was not and will never be, murder. It was love. 

She did though in fact, take my heart with her to the grave.

Thank you.
I am so blessed to call you my friends.

2 comments:

Tiffany said...

:'( they always do that our hearts with them. no one should have to make these tough decisions about their children. and i'm sorry that you had to. </3

John and Allie Fields said...

((HUGS))!!!!!!!!