Your still with us.

Hello again Savannah,

Not much time passes between moments everyday that I speak to you. And then ofcourse there is my traditional once a month letter to you.

Your absence is a part of our life. We live with it, and we have no choice. But that doesn't mean we don't love and miss you. Like I mentioned already, almost half a year?! Impossible considering it feels like you filled my empty arms only yesterday.

Four days ago, a young man came to our house to fix a faucet on our water cooler. He came into the house, and since I see your beautiful face everyday proudly displayed on our walls it's not surprising to me. After he fixed what was broken and left, it dawned on me. He glanced at your picture. He tried not to stare. I sat thinking to myself, never in my life had I experienced a picture like yours. I was sheltered to the fact that not all babies are healthy and vibrant. Did this water home delivery man, wonder, "what's their story?" Was his eyes opened to the fact that these families missing a little piece of something beautiful, live among us? All around us?

Sometimes I wonder, how many times in my life did I stand in line at the grocery store next to one of these fathers or mothers, who said our same sad goodbye?

Our family is not the same without you. Don't fret though little one, we are okay. We miss you still, and always will. Mommy and daddy hope to give you a baby brother or sister very soon. I want you to know that we are not trying to replace you. I know, when I hold my "rainbow" baby sometime in the future, I will not be able to look into their eyes, without seeing your beautiful face. Your earthly presence will be here. While your spiritual presence always has been.

I love you sweet girl.  While Jesus rocks you in His arms, tell Him to sing you "our" lullaby. The one I sang everynight to Brody, while you were still here with me.

Until we meet again...
And I've already been waiting five months,


-Mommy