Wednesday, March 23, 2011

213 Days.

Savannah girl,

I did the math today. It has been officially 213days since we were breath taken with your beauty. I'm not going to lie to you, this month I am at a loss for words. I've been trying to figure out just what to say to you. I know a day doesn't pass without you understanding the magnitude of our love for you. I know a day doesn't pass that you aren't by our side, whispering to us, "don't miss me, I am always here." 

There is a lady whom makes bears for mommies who are broken hearted. These bears weigh the exact amount that your baby did when they were born. So in those moments when our motherly arms feel empty, in my case, a 6lbs. 2oz. baby girl, we can hold our teddy bear. I can hold you. It is a wonderful gift, and though I haven't received my Savannah Bear yet, I cannot begin to imagine what it will feel like to really get to hold you. They come personalized to what you remember your baby by. We are on the waiting list, and I imagine it is going to be awhile before we get to hold you once more.

I was watching your big brother walk down the stairs last night. As he came around the landing and entered the living room, I saw you. I'm sure to anyone that sounds crazy. I remember just how Sarah was when she was seven months old. Crawling. Pulling herself up. Curious about everything. Fascinated with mommy, and the things she would do. There you were, looking so much like big sister. The very same precious white teeth. That glorious smile, only a little shyer being you were leaning over the bottom stair to look up at me. Looking so much like the 7month old little girl I fawned over once before...

 {Missing this.}

Someday, when I come to be with you again, I know that little person I got a glimpse at the other night will be peeking around the corner looking for her mommy. Just waiting for me. As if nothing else ever existed.



Seven months old Savannah. I'm sure it is astonishing.
All my love, hugs, and mommy kisses.

-Mommy

4 comments:

ASHLEY ELDER said...

I have the same "visions" when I try and imagine what my son would look like and be like so many months later :( When I look through pictures of my kids I always have a hard time because I can see in my head what he should be doing and the way he would be acting as a almost 1 year old.

The bear thing sounds so neat, what website is it, you can email it to me....please :)

jednashley@gmail.com

Thanks!

Jennifer said...

Sending lots of love and prayers.

Cally said...

I can't do it. I can't imagine Serenity being any older. Not that I don't want to {and I think about it all the time} but I just can't. I often wonder who she'd look more like now, because when she was born she was the spitting image of her daddy.

I guess she's my little tiny version of peter pan. She'll never grow up. :'(

Holly said...

Im waiting for my bear too. I can't wait to feel the weight of her in my arms.

I think when I look at my other daughters I get a glimpse of my Carleigh. Its bittersweet